My Top 3 Favorite Places as a Military Brat and Army Wife 🌎

Growing up as a Navy brat and later becoming an Army wife, I learned pretty quickly that home isn’t always a particular place. Sometimes, it’s wherever the military sends you next!

After living in 51 homes around the world, I’ve collected plenty of memories, adventures, friendships, and stories. Some duty stations were wonderful. Others? Well, let’s just say they helped build character! 😊

But when my Rules of Engagement co-author, Susan M. Baganz, asked me to name my three favorite places, I had to think about it.

How Do You Choose Just Three?

Spain immediately came to mind. I spent nine years there while my dad served two tours of duty. Those years gave me unforgettable experiences and a love for exploring new places and cultures.

But what about all the other places I’ve called home?

Every military assignment brought something different. New neighbors, new schools, new adventures, and occasionally the challenge of figuring out where we’d packed the coffee mugs!

Looking back, I realize that some of my favorite places weren’t necessarily about the location. They were about the people, relationships, and memories we made along the way.

Watch the Video: My Top 3 Favorite Places

In this short video, Susan and I chat about my favorite places from my years as a military brat and Army wife. You’ll hear which locations made my list and why they still hold a special place in my heart.

These experiences also inspire the military settings, characters, and relationships in our sweet, inspirational military romance series, Rules of Engagement.

Your Turn!

If you’re a military brat, spouse, or veteran, I’d love to hear from you!

What was your favorite duty station, and what made it special?

Share your answer in the comments. Who knows? We may have some favorite places in common!

Explore more military stories and our books at Rules of Engagement.

Why We Decided to Write Together

Sometimes a new adventure begins with one unexpected question: “Maybe we should write it together?”

That’s how my writing partnership with Susan M. Baganz began—and I’m still grateful she asked.

In this short video, recorded during a visit to Susan’s home in Wisconsin, we share how friendship and a story I couldn’t quite get onto the page brought us together as co-authors of the Rules of Engagement military romance series.

A Story Susan Didn’t Forget

Before I became a published book author, I had a story I’d wanted to write for a long time. My military experience gave me a background to draw from, and I wanted to bring that world into a novel.

I pitched the idea to Susan in her role as an editor. She wanted the story.

There was just one small detail: I still needed to write it.

Susan didn’t forget. Each year, she would ask, “Where’s your story?”

Let’s just say she gets points for persistence!

A Conversation That Changed Our Course

As our friendship grew, we continued talking about writing and life. In 2018, we were driving to a conference together when Susan suggested we write the story as a team.

My response? “Are you serious?”

Susan was already an established, published author. I hadn’t yet published a book. Her willingness to work with me helped me realize how much she believed in this story.

That invitation opened a door I hadn’t expected.

A First for Both of Us

Co-authoring was a new adventure for Susan, too. She had never written a book with another author.

We each brought something to the partnership: my military experience and long-held story idea, alongside Susan’s writing and publishing experience.

And we brought our friendship.

Looking back, the answer to “Why did you decide to write together?” is pretty simple: Susan wanted the story, I wanted to tell it, and we decided to take the next step together.

That step became part of the journey behind Rules of Engagement.

Join the Conversation

Have you ever teamed up with a friend to try something new? Or has someone’s belief in you helped you move forward?

Tell us in the comments—we’d love to hear your story!

Ready to meet the characters who came out of our collaboration? Explore the Rules of Engagement books in my store.

Pet Peeves, Laughter, and Friendship: Behind the Books with DeeDee and Susan

What gets on your last nerve? Gum smacking? Running late? That driver who turns a four-way stop into a confusing game of “No, YOU go”?

Before one of our Rules of Engagement book launches, my co-author and best friend, Susan M. Baganz, and I sat down at her home in Wisconsin to answer questions readers had asked us.

This question took us beyond writing and straight into everyday life: What are your pet peeves?

Naturally, we had a few things to say—and a few laughs along the way.

Smacking, Licking, and One Very Innocent Dog

My list started with sounds. People smacking their gum or making smacking noises while eating? Those sounds can send me looking for a quieter corner.

Apparently, dogs licking their bones belong on my list, too.

Susan’s dog, Cooper, had been happily enjoying his bone the night before. He was simply being a dog. Meanwhile, I was discovering that my patience had a soundtrack—and that wasn’t it.

Poor Cooper. He didn’t know he was helping us prepare for an interview.

When Pet Peeves Point to Something Deeper

Susan shared that disrespect bothers her, whether it’s directed toward her or someone else. That led us to another pet peeve: chronic lateness.

She made an important distinction. A delayed arrival because of little children, an accident, or a train is one thing. Life happens, and those moments call for grace.

A pattern of arriving late to everything feels different to her. Being on time is one way she shows others that their time matters.

Susan also likes arriving a little early so she can settle in before a conversation. That certainly sounds better than rushing through the door with your “hair on fire,” as we joked in the video.

It’s interesting how an everyday irritation can reveal something we value. Underneath Susan’s frustration with lateness is a desire for respect and thoughtful connection.

The Four-Way Stop Standoff

I don’t generally struggle with road rage, but a four-way stop can test my good intentions.

You know the moment: someone waves for you to go when it isn’t your turn. Then the waving becomes more insistent while you’re trying to follow the proper order.

I appreciate kindness. I also appreciate knowing whose turn it is!

Tailgating made our list, too, along with Susan’s frustration with drivers who linger in the highway’s left lane when they have room to move over.

Of course, she acknowledged that she has occasionally realized she needed to move over herself. Sometimes we’re the person having the pet peeve. Sometimes we’re the person inspiring it.

That thought can keep us humble.

Friendship Leaves Room for Differences

Susan described herself as a slow-burn person who doesn’t get angry quickly. I described myself as a recovering hothead—and I’m thankful for the progress!

Our reactions aren’t identical. Neither are the things that bother us. Yet we can talk about those differences, laugh together, and learn a little more about each other.

As friends and co-authors, we enjoy these chances to let readers meet the women behind the Rules of Engagement military romance series. Sometimes that means talking about books. Sometimes it means talking about gum, punctuality, and a dog with a bone.

Connection often begins in those ordinary conversations.

Your Turn: What’s Your Pet Peeve?

Now we’d love to hear from you!

What everyday thing gets on your nerves—and why? Is there a funny story behind it, or does it connect to something you value?

Share in the comments. Keep it kind, and remember: Cooper was unavailable to defend himself. 🐾

Want to spend more time with our stories? Explore the Rules of Engagement books at DeeDee’s store.

Mission: Matrimony Is Coming November 6!

Susan and I met more than a decade ago at the Colorado Christian Writers Conference in Estes Park, Colorado. It was my first big writers conference and Susan’s first time attending as an editor for Pelican Book Group.

It seems like yesterday that I stopped to chat with her in the theater-style auditorium where the large-group meetings—and those slightly nerve-racking one-on-one appointments—were held.

There’s a much bigger story about how that meeting eventually turned into a friendship and writing partnership. I’ll save that for another blog, because I can’t wait any longer to announce this:

Our fifth and final book in the Rules of Engagement series, Mission: Matrimony — The Final Engagement, releases November 6, 2026!

That is literally right around the corner.

The roots of this series go back even further. I began plotting and dreaming about becoming an author while our family lived in Panama from 1991–1994, when my husband was stationed at Fort Kobbe. More than thirty years ago! Somehow, that also feels like yesterday.

Our first four Rules of Engagement books were published by CrossRiver Media, where I’ve worked since 2016. For our final story, we’ve come full circle: Mission: Matrimony is being published by Pelican Book Group, where Susan serves as an editor.

Meet Canyon and Harley

Many of the characters in the Rules of Engagement series were carefully planned and plotted.

And then there were the characters who apparently missed the memo that they weren’t supposed to take over. 😂

Canyon Davis and Harley Barnett were two of them.

When these two appeared in the series, there were definite sparks. What we didn’t know at the time was that Canyon and Harley would refuse to quietly disappear into the background. They wanted their own story.

We’re so glad we listened.

In Mission: Matrimony — The Final Engagement, former soldier Harley Barnett has built walls around her heart while carrying guilt from her past. Canyon Davis has patiently loved and prayed for her through the years. When the secrets Harley has buried finally come into the light, she must decide whether to remain trapped by the past—or trust God and the man who has never stopped loving her.

Catch Up on the Rules of Engagement Series

Haven’t read the first four books yet? There’s no time like the present to join all the cool kids. 😉

Mission: Matrimony book cover by DeeDee Lake and Susan M. Baganz, Book 5 in the Rules of Engagement series

Operation: Camouflage Christmas
A Christmas military romance that introduces readers to the faith, family, military life, and unexpected love at the heart of the series.

Operation: Allegiance
Duty, faith, and romance collide when Army helicopter pilot Alexandros Sava meets Kobbe, a woman determined never to marry a military man.

Operation: Reconnaissance
A story about trust, family, second chances, and discovering that sometimes God points the heart in an unexpected direction.

Operation: Skirmish
A heartfelt story of loss, healing, hope, faith, and discovering that love can still grow after heartbreak.

And if you’d like to come along for the final mission, join our Rules of Engagement Reader Community. You can grab a free first chapter of Operation: Allegiance, join the Mission: Matrimony Launch Team, and/or sign up for the latest Rules of Engagement news.

The final engagement is almost here.

November 6, 2026.

Canyon and Harley have waited long enough. ❤️

Conversation with a Vietnam Era Navy Wife – Catherine Brakefield

Featured

Please forgive the audio on this video. Had a bit of a snafu on my trip back to Colorado from Texas. When I got my normal microphone out 45 minutes before the interview, I realized it was bumped up. Yep. It was not going to work. So, plan B was a lesser-quality microphone.

No worries if you don’t catch it all. We will be posting pictures and other questions in our blog very soon that Catherine so graciously shared with Susan and me.

As you can see we have Book 3 cover revealed. We can hardly wait for you to read Book 3 in the Rules of Engagement Series, a sweet military romance.

Hope you enjoy hearing how Catherine and her Navy husband became man and wife!

https://www.amazon.com/Operation-Allegiance-Military-Romance-Engagement/dp/1936501805

Operation: Reconnaisance due to release June 27, 2023!

Aside

For her, it was a marriage of convenience. He prayed she’d grow to love him. But their tragic pasts threaten to destroy any hope for their future together.

A tragic accident changed Rusty Sava’s life, and he battles daily with the consequences. Love wasn’t something he bargained for, but once he met Jane his heart was lost, and her little boy was an unexpected blessing.

The last thing Army Captain Jane Adams was looking for was a second chance at love. She wants to be wooed and desired—something entirely missing from her disastrous first marriage.

Can Jane’s love for Russ blossom with her in Korea and him in Colorado? But their tragic pasts threaten to destroy any hope for their future together.

Buy Operation: Reconnaissance, a sweet military romance, today.

Interview with miltary wife – Bethany Jett

Video

Meet military wife, Bethany Jett, an example of a woman who is capable and able to live the military lifestyle while raising her boys. She proves you can have it all and be a Patriot. Being a military wife takes skills not taught in colleges… maybe they should be! lol

Because we know the military lifestyle and frequent moves take a toll on a spouses career. We wanted to introduce you to Bethany Jett. She manages to succeed doing a job she can pick up and move when necessary. It would be awesome if all careers were capable of doing the same. During and after Covid, many people have discovered their jobs are a bit more mobile and transferable than they ever imagined.

Watch the video to get to know Bethany who became a military wife when she married her college sweetheart and followed him through his stint in the Marines, as a youth pastor, and now in the Guard. She discusses the ways she and her Air Guard hubby stay connected.

Faith. Love. Military. All great topics in this interview.

To connect with Bethany the military wife, mom, and business woman go to her website at bethanyjett.com.

For more information, go to SeriousWriter.com to learn more.”The mission of Serious Writer is to build community, create networking opportunities, teach the most current industry information, and provide free and affordable instruction and training”.

Thank you Bethany for a fun interview and allowing our readers to get to know you!

To read more of the military members, military wives and husbands, Brats, Gold Star Families and Military parents visit our blog from the beginning at https://rulesofengagmentmilitaryromance.wordpress.com/2022/07/29/coming-soon/

We want to interview you. And continue highlighting our military members, spouses (military wives or husbands), Brats, Gold Star Families, and Military Parents. Send an email to info@deedeelake.com. We’d love an opportunity to spotlight you, your business or cause!

DeeDee’s Story: A Military Brat Part 6 of 6

Featured

How Many Times has my Sponsor Been Deployed?

My dad didn’t go out to sea much the second half of his twenty-year career. I remember he went out when I was about ten years old and I don’t think he did again after that. I was so sad since I was supposed to take care of his fish and they died. I cried that I had let him down. When he returned he understood and we went to a store that only sold fish. It was in the Spanish town with cobbled streets and centuries of history on display wherever we went.

Did Any of My Siblings Join the Armed Forces?

My brother, John joined the Navy became an Air Traffic Controller. It wasn’t a good fit. Then they sent him to nursing school. That was good for him. He married a sweetie from MN who didn’t understand the military lifestyle, so he got out. He loved his time on active duty. As for my sister, she did not want to live her life as a military member or spouse. She took root in the south and is glad she did.

My brother Johnny, rocking that 80’s mustache. 2nd on the left, front row.

Did I Say Mam and Sir?

Yes Sir I did. Still do. I don’t think it was because my dad was Navy. I think it was because I had super, uber southern parents that believed a child had a role to live and it wasn’t as an adult in the family. We were taught that polite children use their manners and southern polite children better say mam or sir. Lol

Are Do Still have Contact with your Brat Friends?

Tammy and Me

Yes. Absolutely yes. I met, Tammy, one of my best gal pals when I was in 7th grade. She married her high school sweetheart (Jay is a brat too) and our husbands are friends too. Here’s where I visited her in FL.

Me, my hubby (the beardless one) and our friend Jayson.
Me and Gena
Wow, we look just the same as we did in 1990!

Gena, my bestie in high school in Rota, was in my wedding. I was in hers. We live states away from each other but still keep in touch. Here’s a pic from when she came out to CO.

I still connect with our maid/nanny we had during my dad’s first tour to Spain. Here is a couple of pics from out times with Juani. She is a blessing in our lives. Like a big sister.

THANK YOU DEEDEE Lake for sharing your military brat experiences! We will be hearing more about her real life military romance in the future. I’m thrilled to be part of helping bring DeeDee’s military romance novel ideas to the page. Stay tuned! First book releases November 1st! Camouflage Christmas!

DeeDee’s Story: A Military Brat Part 5 of 6

Featured

Where Are You From?

Answering the question, “where are you from” still stumps me. I wonder are they asking me where I was born? Where I lived last or longest? Where I connect with the most? Where my grandparents live or where do I currently live? Eventually, I think most of us develop a quick pitch we throw out to help someone connect to us. Here’s mine.

My dad was in the Navy. I was born in VA but only lived there a few weeks, I think. Mostly, I grew up in Spain and Florida until my dad retired in my junior year of high school. We moved to where he was from originally in Alabama.

Then I pause. Without fail there are follow up questions that help us connect in some way.

How Many Places Have You Lived?

I don’t have a ready answer for that one but I do know the house I live in now is the 50th house I’ve lived in. Yeah. You read that correctly. 5. O. I’ve loved every single place. Although, some more than others.

Oh the places I’ve lived. Here is RGH – off base housing in Puerto de Santa Maria.

How Many High Schools Did You Attend?

Three. I went to three high schools in my junior year. I don’t recommend it. Lol.

Prom

Favorite Place to Live as a Navy Brat?

Hands down, Rota. I love living by the ocean even though my husband and I retired to gorgeous Colorado next to Pikes Peak.

Favorite Memory?

Wow. There are so many. I suppose one that stands out from our time at Homestead AFB was chasing huge toads. When the streetlights turned on, the time we should have been home by, the bugs, gnats, mosquitoes, etc. would hang around them. The toads were smart and they would come there too. Now, who wasn’t too smart were the kids on my street. We would take long sticks and tap behind the toads to get them to jump. We tried racing them but they never went toward the finish line. The toads seemed risk free unless they peed on you. The huge toads would only tolerate a few taps behind them before they would turn and start to jump in the direction of the tormentor. We would scream and run like the Chainsaw Massacre dude was after us.

I hear Homestead isn’t there anymore due to one of the many Florida hurricanes. That was the place I learned to be terrified of storms. Man oh man, it can do some storming in southern Florida.

What Activity Do I Miss From Living Overseas?

The connection between all of us as Americans. The community, the bond we shared is something hard to describe but you know it when you are living it. Because there are no extended family to help you, we truly had to be neighbors helping neighbors. It was good.

I miss the castles and cathedrals we explored. The wineries, the coast, camping, and eating delicious seafood. I miss being patient while trying to communicate with someone who’s native language is not the same as my own. Experiencing history that is still in the making. Walking in the footsteps of people we studied from centuries ago. The smells of cooking from the huge doors that opened into lovely courtyards.

What Traditions Did We Keep?

My mom is the queen of holidays. You never had to doubt what season or holiday it was if you came to our quarters. She truly made each one an event. I hadn’t really thought about all the effort she must have had to use to get it done. Great question. We kept every single tradition my mom could think of including some from the places we lived. For example, after living in Spain, we must celebrate Three Kings Day, Jan 6th. No one in my family is allowed to take our tree down until Jan 7th. Needless to say, we only use artificial trees since we have to put them up during Thanksgiving weekend. I’m going to go tell my mom, well done! She created tradition for a family who moved a lot.

On Three Kings Day we would leave our shoes out.

Stay tuned for the final post by DeeDee on September 20, 2022.

DeeDee’s Story: A Military Brat Part 4 of 6

Featured

Misconceptions About Military Families

There are misconceptions about military families. When we see movies portraying service men as hard-core drill sergeants with their family, we know it is rarely true. And I can’t imagine a family member chewing out their sponsor’s commander. Yeah. I can’t even picture that.

Sacrifices

Also, a Brat sacrifices daily in ways that the world will never witness. Often, we grow up too fast as we stand in the gap as a pseudo parent. We put other’s first as we long to be seen and heard. We know the pain of loss and the joy of celebration on a level unheard of in the halls of civilian schools. We celebrate our friends and strangers as they are reunited with their military member, while we long for our own reunions. We hold and support the Brats who are lonely as they miss their mom or dad who have been gone too long, or perhaps gone forever.

Us three kids in matching sweatshirts.

Measuring A Life

We measure our young lives not by years but by “tours”. You’ll hear as the Brats gather how they start speaking about an event like this: “When we lived in Germany, ….” Or “When Dad was stationed in Japan, we …”. We choose not to measure the years, I suppose because we have to watch a calendar far too often before we PCS, before we see or talk to our loved ones again, or before we live under the same roof again with all of our family.

Me at a Bullfight in Spain

Instant Connection

We connect immediately with other Brats and soon find commonality in the places we’ve lived, people we know, or things we’ve done. It brings us to a place almost like “home”. We don’t grow up with a permanent address other than our point of contact person, usually a grandparent. Our home we carry in our hearts. Our home is where we are planted for the season. We make places better because we connect quickly and understand life is fleeting and we try not to waste today longing for yesterday.

Me and my siblings washing the Pig

We believe the last place we lived was the best place ever until it is time to leave the installation we currently live. We see the beauty in the future and in what we’ve left behind.

We live with hope that the next place will hold amazing moments we can share with new friends in new places. Often, we graduate from a high school that may have been our third or fourth one. So instead of celebrating a school, we celebrate the people we’ve gathered in our lives over the years.

Prom 1979

My Feelings About Being a Brat

It’s a privilege. I’ve been introduced to cultures I would never have experienced had I lived in one place my entire childhood. I learned skills like being able to unpack or pack a house lickety-split. I never meet a stranger and I’m blessed with a world view. Connecting and being empathetic come easy when you’ve grown up everywhere. When I hear our national anthem my heart is full of love for the commitment and sacrifices of our people.

I’ve left a part of my heart in every place I’ve lived. However, I’ve grown and learned to love more than I could have ever imagined. Social media opened the door to re-connect with friends that may have been temporarily misplaced, like luggage or household goods. Lol Truly, I can say I have friends all over the world. Because I do, it makes me care more for what happens near and far. I’ve experienced sunsets in four continents, flown over two oceans, swam in the Mediterranean Sea, watched a bullfight, and made a lifetime of amazing memories. I wouldn’t change one thing about the way I grew up.

I’m proud to be a military Brat!

Stay tuned. DeeDee continues her story on September 15, 2022.