Pet Peeves, Laughter, and Friendship: Behind the Books with DeeDee and Susan

What gets on your last nerve? Gum smacking? Running late? That driver who turns a four-way stop into a confusing game of “No, YOU go”?

Before one of our Rules of Engagement book launches, my co-author and best friend, Susan M. Baganz, and I sat down at her home in Wisconsin to answer questions readers had asked us.

This question took us beyond writing and straight into everyday life: What are your pet peeves?

Naturally, we had a few things to say—and a few laughs along the way.

Smacking, Licking, and One Very Innocent Dog

My list started with sounds. People smacking their gum or making smacking noises while eating? Those sounds can send me looking for a quieter corner.

Apparently, dogs licking their bones belong on my list, too.

Susan’s dog, Cooper, had been happily enjoying his bone the night before. He was simply being a dog. Meanwhile, I was discovering that my patience had a soundtrack—and that wasn’t it.

Poor Cooper. He didn’t know he was helping us prepare for an interview.

When Pet Peeves Point to Something Deeper

Susan shared that disrespect bothers her, whether it’s directed toward her or someone else. That led us to another pet peeve: chronic lateness.

She made an important distinction. A delayed arrival because of little children, an accident, or a train is one thing. Life happens, and those moments call for grace.

A pattern of arriving late to everything feels different to her. Being on time is one way she shows others that their time matters.

Susan also likes arriving a little early so she can settle in before a conversation. That certainly sounds better than rushing through the door with your “hair on fire,” as we joked in the video.

It’s interesting how an everyday irritation can reveal something we value. Underneath Susan’s frustration with lateness is a desire for respect and thoughtful connection.

The Four-Way Stop Standoff

I don’t generally struggle with road rage, but a four-way stop can test my good intentions.

You know the moment: someone waves for you to go when it isn’t your turn. Then the waving becomes more insistent while you’re trying to follow the proper order.

I appreciate kindness. I also appreciate knowing whose turn it is!

Tailgating made our list, too, along with Susan’s frustration with drivers who linger in the highway’s left lane when they have room to move over.

Of course, she acknowledged that she has occasionally realized she needed to move over herself. Sometimes we’re the person having the pet peeve. Sometimes we’re the person inspiring it.

That thought can keep us humble.

Friendship Leaves Room for Differences

Susan described herself as a slow-burn person who doesn’t get angry quickly. I described myself as a recovering hothead—and I’m thankful for the progress!

Our reactions aren’t identical. Neither are the things that bother us. Yet we can talk about those differences, laugh together, and learn a little more about each other.

As friends and co-authors, we enjoy these chances to let readers meet the women behind the Rules of Engagement military romance series. Sometimes that means talking about books. Sometimes it means talking about gum, punctuality, and a dog with a bone.

Connection often begins in those ordinary conversations.

Your Turn: What’s Your Pet Peeve?

Now we’d love to hear from you!

What everyday thing gets on your nerves—and why? Is there a funny story behind it, or does it connect to something you value?

Share in the comments. Keep it kind, and remember: Cooper was unavailable to defend himself. 🐾

Want to spend more time with our stories? Explore the Rules of Engagement books at DeeDee’s store.

DeeDee’s Story: A Military Brat Part 4 of 6

Featured

Misconceptions About Military Families

There are misconceptions about military families. When we see movies portraying service men as hard-core drill sergeants with their family, we know it is rarely true. And I can’t imagine a family member chewing out their sponsor’s commander. Yeah. I can’t even picture that.

Sacrifices

Also, a Brat sacrifices daily in ways that the world will never witness. Often, we grow up too fast as we stand in the gap as a pseudo parent. We put other’s first as we long to be seen and heard. We know the pain of loss and the joy of celebration on a level unheard of in the halls of civilian schools. We celebrate our friends and strangers as they are reunited with their military member, while we long for our own reunions. We hold and support the Brats who are lonely as they miss their mom or dad who have been gone too long, or perhaps gone forever.

Us three kids in matching sweatshirts.

Measuring A Life

We measure our young lives not by years but by “tours”. You’ll hear as the Brats gather how they start speaking about an event like this: “When we lived in Germany, ….” Or “When Dad was stationed in Japan, we …”. We choose not to measure the years, I suppose because we have to watch a calendar far too often before we PCS, before we see or talk to our loved ones again, or before we live under the same roof again with all of our family.

Me at a Bullfight in Spain

Instant Connection

We connect immediately with other Brats and soon find commonality in the places we’ve lived, people we know, or things we’ve done. It brings us to a place almost like “home”. We don’t grow up with a permanent address other than our point of contact person, usually a grandparent. Our home we carry in our hearts. Our home is where we are planted for the season. We make places better because we connect quickly and understand life is fleeting and we try not to waste today longing for yesterday.

Me and my siblings washing the Pig

We believe the last place we lived was the best place ever until it is time to leave the installation we currently live. We see the beauty in the future and in what we’ve left behind.

We live with hope that the next place will hold amazing moments we can share with new friends in new places. Often, we graduate from a high school that may have been our third or fourth one. So instead of celebrating a school, we celebrate the people we’ve gathered in our lives over the years.

Prom 1979

My Feelings About Being a Brat

It’s a privilege. I’ve been introduced to cultures I would never have experienced had I lived in one place my entire childhood. I learned skills like being able to unpack or pack a house lickety-split. I never meet a stranger and I’m blessed with a world view. Connecting and being empathetic come easy when you’ve grown up everywhere. When I hear our national anthem my heart is full of love for the commitment and sacrifices of our people.

I’ve left a part of my heart in every place I’ve lived. However, I’ve grown and learned to love more than I could have ever imagined. Social media opened the door to re-connect with friends that may have been temporarily misplaced, like luggage or household goods. Lol Truly, I can say I have friends all over the world. Because I do, it makes me care more for what happens near and far. I’ve experienced sunsets in four continents, flown over two oceans, swam in the Mediterranean Sea, watched a bullfight, and made a lifetime of amazing memories. I wouldn’t change one thing about the way I grew up.

I’m proud to be a military Brat!

Stay tuned. DeeDee continues her story on September 15, 2022.