If you read our “about” page you know that DeeDee and Susan became friends years ago (more than we want to admit because it makes us older!). They met at the Colorado Christian Writer’s Conference in Estes Park Colorado and Susan was on faculty and DeeDee was her first appointment. There as an instant connection and friendship that came out of that, probably because DeeDee can make friends anywhere. Part personality and part of being a Navy brat and an Army wife.
Setting aside broken dreams of love and marriage, Samantha “Brooke” Cooper-Sanchez is determined to complete Officer Candidate School at Fort Benning, Georgia, so she can be a nurse in the Army Medical Corps. She wasn’t looking for love. Then surprise Christmas gifts begin showing up. Who is sending them and how does this person know her so well?
Bernard Travis has been friends with Brooke since high school. They’d remained in contact over the years, and now for the first time, she is available to pursue, except dating is forbidden in OCS. When she doesn’t realize who her mysterious gift giver is, Bernard begins to doubt he’ll ever win her heart. Will God make his fondest Christmas wish come true?
My dad didn’t go out to sea much the second half of his twenty-year career. I remember he went out when I was about ten years old and I don’t think he did again after that. I was so sad since I was supposed to take care of his fish and they died. I cried that I had let him down. When he returned he understood and we went to a store that only sold fish. It was in the Spanish town with cobbled streets and centuries of history on display wherever we went.
Did Any of My Siblings Join the Armed Forces?
My brother, John joined the Navy became an Air Traffic Controller. It wasn’t a good fit. Then they sent him to nursing school. That was good for him. He married a sweetie from MN who didn’t understand the military lifestyle, so he got out. He loved his time on active duty. As for my sister, she did not want to live her life as a military member or spouse. She took root in the south and is glad she did.
My brother Johnny, rocking that 80’s mustache. 2nd on the left, front row.
Did I Say Mam and Sir?
Yes Sir I did. Still do. I don’t think it was because my dad was Navy. I think it was because I had super, uber southern parents that believed a child had a role to live and it wasn’t as an adult in the family. We were taught that polite children use their manners and southern polite children better say mam or sir. Lol
Are Do Still have Contact with your Brat Friends?
Tammy and Me
Yes. Absolutely yes. I met, Tammy, one of my best gal pals when I was in 7th grade. She married her high school sweetheart (Jay is a brat too) and our husbands are friends too. Here’s where I visited her in FL.
Me, my hubby (the beardless one) and our friend Jayson.Me and GenaWow, we look just the same as we did in 1990!
Gena, my bestie in high school in Rota, was in my wedding. I was in hers. We live states away from each other but still keep in touch. Here’s a pic from when she came out to CO.
I still connect with our maid/nanny we had during my dad’s first tour to Spain. Here is a couple of pics from out times with Juani. She is a blessing in our lives. Like a big sister.
THANK YOU DEEDEE Lake for sharing your military brat experiences! We will be hearing more about her real life military romance in the future. I’m thrilled to be part of helping bring DeeDee’s military romance novel ideas to the page. Stay tuned! First book releases November 1st! Camouflage Christmas!
Answering the question, “where are you from” still stumps me. I wonder are they asking me where I was born? Where I lived last or longest? Where I connect with the most? Where my grandparents live or where do I currently live? Eventually, I think most of us develop a quick pitch we throw out to help someone connect to us. Here’s mine.
My dad was in the Navy. I was born in VA but only lived there a few weeks, I think. Mostly, I grew up in Spain and Florida until my dad retired in my junior year of high school. We moved to where he was from originally in Alabama.
Then I pause. Without fail there are follow up questions that help us connect in some way.
How Many Places Have You Lived?
I don’t have a ready answer for that one but I do know the house I live in now is the 50th house I’ve lived in. Yeah. You read that correctly. 5. O. I’ve loved every single place. Although, some more than others.
Oh the places I’ve lived. Here is RGH – off base housing in Puerto de Santa Maria.
How Many High Schools Did You Attend?
Three. I went to three high schools in my junior year. I don’t recommend it. Lol.
Prom
Favorite Place to Live as a Navy Brat?
Hands down, Rota. I love living by the ocean even though my husband and I retired to gorgeous Colorado next to Pikes Peak.
Favorite Memory?
Wow. There are so many. I suppose one that stands out from our time at Homestead AFB was chasing huge toads. When the streetlights turned on, the time we should have been home by, the bugs, gnats, mosquitoes, etc. would hang around them. The toads were smart and they would come there too. Now, who wasn’t too smart were the kids on my street. We would take long sticks and tap behind the toads to get them to jump. We tried racing them but they never went toward the finish line. The toads seemed risk free unless they peed on you. The huge toads would only tolerate a few taps behind them before they would turn and start to jump in the direction of the tormentor. We would scream and run like the Chainsaw Massacre dude was after us.
I hear Homestead isn’t there anymore due to one of the many Florida hurricanes. That was the place I learned to be terrified of storms. Man oh man, it can do some storming in southern Florida.
What Activity Do I Miss From Living Overseas?
The connection between all of us as Americans. The community, the bond we shared is something hard to describe but you know it when you are living it. Because there are no extended family to help you, we truly had to be neighbors helping neighbors. It was good.
I miss the castles and cathedrals we explored. The wineries, the coast, camping, and eating delicious seafood. I miss being patient while trying to communicate with someone who’s native language is not the same as my own. Experiencing history that is still in the making. Walking in the footsteps of people we studied from centuries ago. The smells of cooking from the huge doors that opened into lovely courtyards.
What Traditions Did We Keep?
My mom is the queen of holidays. You never had to doubt what season or holiday it was if you came to our quarters. She truly made each one an event. I hadn’t really thought about all the effort she must have had to use to get it done. Great question. We kept every single tradition my mom could think of including some from the places we lived. For example, after living in Spain, we must celebrate Three Kings Day, Jan 6th. No one in my family is allowed to take our tree down until Jan 7th. Needless to say, we only use artificial trees since we have to put them up during Thanksgiving weekend. I’m going to go tell my mom, well done! She created tradition for a family who moved a lot.
On Three Kings Day we would leave our shoes out.
Stay tuned for the final post by DeeDee on September 20, 2022.
There are misconceptions about military families. When we see movies portraying service men as hard-core drill sergeants with their family, we know it is rarely true. And I can’t imagine a family member chewing out their sponsor’s commander. Yeah. I can’t even picture that.
Sacrifices
Also, a Brat sacrifices daily in ways that the world will never witness. Often, we grow up too fast as we stand in the gap as a pseudo parent. We put other’s first as we long to be seen and heard. We know the pain of loss and the joy of celebration on a level unheard of in the halls of civilian schools. We celebrate our friends and strangers as they are reunited with their military member, while we long for our own reunions. We hold and support the Brats who are lonely as they miss their mom or dad who have been gone too long, or perhaps gone forever.
Us three kids in matching sweatshirts.
Measuring A Life
We measure our young lives not by years but by “tours”. You’ll hear as the Brats gather how they start speaking about an event like this: “When we lived in Germany, ….” Or “When Dad was stationed in Japan, we …”. We choose not to measure the years, I suppose because we have to watch a calendar far too often before we PCS, before we see or talk to our loved ones again, or before we live under the same roof again with all of our family.
Me at a Bullfight in Spain
Instant Connection
We connect immediately with other Brats and soon find commonality in the places we’ve lived, people we know, or things we’ve done. It brings us to a place almost like “home”. We don’t grow up with a permanent address other than our point of contact person, usually a grandparent. Our home we carry in our hearts. Our home is where we are planted for the season. We make places better because we connect quickly and understand life is fleeting and we try not to waste today longing for yesterday.
Me and my siblings washing the Pig
We believe the last place we lived was the best place ever until it is time to leave the installation we currently live. We see the beauty in the future and in what we’ve left behind.
We live with hope that the next place will hold amazing moments we can share with new friends in new places. Often, we graduate from a high school that may have been our third or fourth one. So instead of celebrating a school, we celebrate the people we’ve gathered in our lives over the years.
Prom 1979
My Feelings About Being a Brat
It’s a privilege. I’ve been introduced to cultures I would never have experienced had I lived in one place my entire childhood. I learned skills like being able to unpack or pack a house lickety-split. I never meet a stranger and I’m blessed with a world view. Connecting and being empathetic come easy when you’ve grown up everywhere. When I hear our national anthem my heart is full of love for the commitment and sacrifices of our people.
I’ve left a part of my heart in every place I’ve lived. However, I’ve grown and learned to love more than I could have ever imagined. Social media opened the door to re-connect with friends that may have been temporarily misplaced, like luggage or household goods. Lol Truly, I can say I have friends all over the world. Because I do, it makes me care more for what happens near and far. I’ve experienced sunsets in four continents, flown over two oceans, swam in the Mediterranean Sea, watched a bullfight, and made a lifetime of amazing memories. I wouldn’t change one thing about the way I grew up.
I’m proud to be a military Brat!
Stay tuned. DeeDee continues her story on September 15, 2022.
Looking back to 1980, our entire family was unknowingly, unprepared for civilian life. I suppose my parents had a better handle on it since they were both born to civilian parents. (Mom’s dad had been in WW-II when she was born). As for me and my siblings we could have used some coaching before we were planted in land-locked, southern, rural Alabama beside Fort Rucker (an Army post).
Me as a Rota cheerleader, upper right in the back row
1980 – me and my besties!
Military to Civilian Life
My mom had spent her first twenty years of marriage as a Navy wife, then she was surrounded by Army lifestyle, Army personnel, Army wives, Army dialog, everything all Army. The rural environment was not her cup of tea. She had grown up between the Tennessee mountains and the Virginia coastline. Alabama was as foreign to her as it was to me.
Dad was originally from Alabama but his time away in the Navy had changed him from a country boy to a man who had traveled the oceans, crossed the Equator, cruised around the tip of Africa, lived in foreign countries, rode a camel, learn to speak two other languages, married a Virginia girl and had three kids. He had changed. Life for him was different from when he left in order to escape his father’s summer plans for him to work the land, cut down trees, and be the son who stayed.
As we all struggled to find our place, my little sister was often overlooked. The youngest, the quietest, the smallest she needed us the most. We didn’t see her forest for our trees. Life was not the same. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t wrong. It was simply different than we had experienced and expected. We were no longer in a military environment living in the country.
Me and my siblings on a bunk. Our quartes were always a different size and my parents were pros at getting us settled in. We are sitting on the top of the bunk my dad made. It had three beds. We thought were so cool.
Military Brats are Comfortable with Change
Military Brats are comfortable with change. We know change is inevitable. What was hard to understand was in our own country – the one we’d always been so proud of were:
People who knew and lived near their relatives while we struggled to understand the role of a cousin.
Understanding county and state lines after years of studying the local history wherever we had lived.
Kids driving at a much earlier age with customs, sayings, and so much more different from we knew.
My story begins like so many of ours do. I was the second child born to my Navy dad and Southern mama in the Portsmouth Naval Hospital. The oldest, my brother John, was born in the same hospital just nineteen months earlier. I’m unsure how many moves my folks did between the time of mine and John’s birth. I do know, two years after me the third kiddo came to be. The baby of the family was born in Key West. The only child our dad was not at sea for the birth was Barbara, but he still missed her busting into the world. He had 24-hour duty and needed to get some shut eye.
Smith Family in Key West, FLMom keeps the dependents busy.
That’s me in the middle checking out what my brother is doing. Monkey see. Monkey do.
My Dad
I’m proud of my dad’s twenty-year Navy career. He was a CT-I (cryptologist, interpreter). He retired as an E-6 and spent most of his time between tours in Spain, Florida, and a ship. I grew up thinking everyone’s dad left for six months at a time because all my friends’ dads did too. My mom worked at different jobs wherever we lived. Most of her time and effort was focused on keeping the three “dependents” from running wild while holding down the home front.
John and Nancy Smith on their wedding day
Where is Home?
As a Brat, I lived in or at
Fort Meade, MD
Rota Naval Station – Rota, Spain
Homestead Air Force Base – Homestead, FL
Key West, FL
Fort Devans, MA
Fort Ord, CA
Portsmouth Naval, VA
TN, AL, VA – when my dad was at sea – Mom took us to wherever her family lived. Her dad was a traveling bricklayer.
I know there are more places but these are the ones I know of. Some I remember. Some are only photos in albums labeled by place, date and names of people in our lives for a season.
My Dad in his white uniform. I remember him trying to protect his from my clumsiness. It never worked.
Dad did two tours (with extensions both times) in Rota, Spain between 1969 and 1980. We lived in Spain for nine of my sixteen years. Rota was the place I thought of as my hometown and still do. The last time I lived stateside I was eleven. I loved Rota and cried a lot of tears when Dad put in his retirement papers. I was in the middle of my Junior year of high school unknowingly unprepared to live as a civilian’s kid.
Rules of Engagement 